true true.

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.
-Jeremy Irons

i wish.

i wish i could be a machine.
life would be a lot simpler then.

shoutout; does anyone know whether there's any econs homework due tomorrow?

I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much
And I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets
And you would have the best of me

drained.

it's time's like this when you realise it's you against the world.

i guess it's always my fault.
i keep screwing up. keep giving in.

let no one be fooled;
there is no serious work without serious problems.
to move a pebble, a kick is enough.
but to move a rock, one needs a lever.

and on a random note, Les Choristes is good stuff. inspiring's the word.

honourable discharge.

a warrior with a broken body will still take you on
a warrior with a broken sword will do likewise
a warrior with a broken will cannot do anything;
he will simply lay down his sword and walk away.

simply because he knows it is over.

some say that a sword will always be a sword and that no matter what happens, a sword cannot change its form or purpose. but i believe they didn't consider the fact that swords, after repeated use, start to rust and get blunt.

so you see, it is over. really.

i am no warrior and i don't have any swords. but i think the whole experience is one money cannot buy. now i see the world. the real world. things that i've been so sheltered from in the past. this is the world. i wish everyone all the best in upcoming matches and pray that they will make it to be plate champions.

now i hang up my boots
and fold up my jerseys and shirts.
and put away my socks.
because for me, the fight is over.

but anyway, thanks for asking.

words that i keep.

i think yesterday was, if you want to put it this way, weird.

we're seeing someone off on a lonely journey but we celebrate. why so?
maybe we were just making memories while we still could. after all, life won't exactly be the same without shun. PW was a chore, but shun and zhao made it a lot better. and a B wouldn't have been possible without their help.

and it was weird. really. couldn't find the words to say at all. it's like you know someone's leaving, not like you won't see him again, but i guess it'll be different. i always thought our class would pull through, especially when we all got through the promotionals. it was a hard fight but we all got through somehow. scratches, bruises and wounds, no doubt about it all. but most importantly, we survived. call it luck or God's Grace. it doesn't really matter. we just got through it all.

but i guess all good things come to an end.
don't they all?

so here's wishing you all the best in all that you do.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-The Road Not Taken; Robert Frost.

nicely done.

susan boyle kicked the system's ass.
hahahaha. freakin' awesome performance if you ask me.

all that stereotyping and prejudice.
nicely done, don't you think?

lesson learnt.

oh, is that so?

today i learnt something new.

God is not a drug.
and i think many of us keep forgetting that.

Swing Life Away by Rise Against

Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer
or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars
I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words.

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.

I've been here so long
Think that its time to move
The winter's so cold summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow.

I've got some friends
some that I hardly know
But we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go.

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand,
until you hold my hand.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars
I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words.

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.

Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away

one step forward, two steps back.

a B for PW.

not exactly worth the effort but at least it's a decent grade.

it was rather disheartening to know that the bulk of my friends from secondary school scored an A.

and what made the whole damn thing worse was that some people got grades that they didn't deserve. like some of 'em practically worked their ass off and got shitty grades. and some others didn't work their ass off but got awesome grades.

where's the logic in that?
it really makes me wonder what the heck Project Work is all about.

so go on, enlighten me.

all in the head of a machine.

this morning was interesting.

problems are like items on a to-do list.
you've got to settle them one by one and tick or strike them off the list when you're done. you just keeping going on until all the problems are solved.

sounds mechanical?
perhaps a lil'.
sounds pragmatic?
definitely.

is it do-able?
i'll give it a try.

i still haven't got it right. yet.

the common tests may be over, but i'm not really satisfied(who would be anyway?!)
i think it was pretty disastrous and just like after every term test, i tell myself i'll do better in the next. but we(i'm making the blatant assumption that you kinda fall into the same category as me) usually don't.

we don't do as well as we expect; we work hard, don't get me wrong. but i tend to believe that it's the usual too lil' too late mantra hitting us on the head to remind us that cramming doesn't really work(except for selected individuals we all know as geniuses). geniuses, i learnt today, are more of an urban myth or a fallacy(whichever you prefer), simply because the geniuses that you see around you are either the product of natural selection or the product of hard work and discipline or in some cases, perhaps even a rare combination of both(although i would like to think that hard work and discipline are the answers).

with this knowledge in mind, i guess i'm working towards the second ideal, because i believe that the game of life isn't fair and you don't always get dealt the best cards. so the only way to win is to bide your time, be patient and keep to the game plan(without getting distracted like i usually do).

anyway, the game plan is simple; i just need people to study/do homework with.
hey, who says studying cannot be a social activity?(i'm trying to challenge the stereotypes set by students just like us)
saturdays mornings are my favourite.
sundays are welcome too.

so, who's up for the challenge?

holy smokes.

i swear this is freaky. i wrote about guilt on the 29th of march , just like jon chen. haha. great minds think alike. after all, i am a jonathan too.

note(s) to self;
-pack room.
-stay focused.
-move on.
-stop being such a slob.
-stop being such a ****.
-accept others for who they are and stop being so judgemental.
-get more work done.
-no compromise.

i don't really know how,
but i swear;
this is gonna have to get better,
somehow.

unspoken gratitude.

by the time we all hit 18 or perhaps even younger, we all know that not all stories have happy endings. some endings are screwed beyond reason. others are just a lil' messed up. but some, i'm pleased to say, are rather pleasant. not because that these endings are the best case scenarios with the fairytale touches in 'em but rather, because these endings give the eternal pessimist something to smile about.

one of my favourite quotes goes like this, "it's great to be a pessimist. you're either dead right or in for a big surprise."

or at least that was the gist of it.

monday started off really ordinarily, with the usual lessons and all. chem was fun i guess? cos i know what i'm doing nowadays(thanks a lot to mr lee!) and maybe cos the assignment was easy? it was some november 99 question. but it wasn't that easy after all cos there were some parts that i got owned by(those weirdass-need-to-use-brain-and-think-kind!).

i finished in half an hour and so the remaining time was just pure lepak and talk cock sessions. but halfway through the fun, i got a message from mr kwok requesting for gaurav and myself to see him before 2pm. i thought it was some attendance thingy or something. went to see him at 1.30pm but pe office was locked. so i waited till 5pm, just right before training and all.

coach led me to his table. then he picked a red plastic bag and said, "i've got something for you."

and the yellow shirt(look above!) pops out of the red plastic bag. "this is yours, you earned it."

i was, well, at a loss for words.

although i have loads to say,

today,

my words are few;

thank you, sir.

-and to all the ruggers out there. all the best. wish i could be out there with y'all.

If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
If today was your last day

Going against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts cause there's no second try
So live it like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your whole life

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
And would you call old friends you never see
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies
And would you find that one your dreaming of
Swear up and down to god above
That you'll finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark
On ending a broken heart
You know it's never too late
To shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
Cause you can't rewind
A moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
Cause the hands of time
Are never on your side

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
And would you call old friends you never see
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies
And would you find that one your dreaming of
Swear up and down to god above
That you'll finally fall in love
If today was your last day

-beautiful lyrics don't you think? 15/10 if you ask me(and yes, i can count).