thoughts on 310711.

i sit quietly by the window, reminiscing the past; thinking about a time that these hallways and spaces were not so distant; filled with familiar names and faces. today, the hallways were packed, as they always are, but it just wasn't the same. faces and names; i knew a few. but what worries me most is that this sprawling compound i once called home has become a cold and empty shell; where is the friendly chatter that warms strangers up before a hot meal? what of the tireless face painters who could turn man into beast with their artful strokes? the old man at the table who strikes up a happy and random conversation with just about anyone? the plump lady in the black blouse with rose petals printed on who would give you a jolly good bargain for her delicious shepherd's pies if you had the courage to ask; where is she now? where is that happy gathering of old friends; seated at table with drink in one hand and chicken wing in the other; sharing enthusiastic plans for the future and laughing and smiling about each other's dreams. where have they all gone?

these and more have become less commonplace in what we call a "funfair" and only exist as distant memories; little happy fragments, now stored away in some lonely, obscure corner of my brain. if i were to put a word to it, i would choose "moribund"; in terminal decline; at the point of death. no, it is not God who is dead; it is the people. that warmth(and energy); this i know, is most lacking.

now all there is left is a certain chill; like that of the cold wind that whistles through the tiny gap in the window where i now sit.