quick look at myself.

army's given me a little bit of time to take a quick glance at myself;

attitudes and values, traits and characteristics, physical and mental strength.

well, one thing bugging me was this question that was put to me by one of my section mates, "have you been looking out for any nice girls? i mean, like, anyone in mind at the moment?"

okay. honestly, i don't think i'm ready. nice girls are aplenty, but it wouldn't help if i'm the root of the problem. i don't think i'm ready. i am immature and selfish. i don't know how to give and take. i am unreasonable. i am emotionally challenged, or rather, i would say that i have poor control over my emotions; they often get the better of me. i have poor discipline. i have no drive. i lack self-control. i am weak. such traits clearly show that i am not ready for a relationship; and clearly, i am undeserving of nice girl/lady until i get my act together.

i keep telling myself that i will keep giving my best, even if others don't. it isn't easy, especially when you're always giving. it makes you question, "why should i bother giving my best when others don't? why not be like them and give as little as i can; perhaps even the bare minimum?" but then i tell myself, "no, only my best. only my best." and i carry on on my journey, to find others like myself; on our search for perfection and success.