General Iroh.

"it is best to admit mistakes when they occur, and to seek to restore honour."

- General Iroh in "Avatar: The Last Airbender", episode 35; tales from Ba Sing Se.

Iroh's the man alright.

sword of the new world.

i will not settle for second best,

i am sick and tired of this.

i will not allow these people to predict and set a course for my future;

i am the captain of my soul and the master of my own destiny.

i will not falter;

i must not sway.

and for all the regrets and wrongs;

i will begin anew today(and perhaps right the wrongs someday).

i will not settle for second best;

because there is simply no other way.

for those who have given me a chance to prove myself in some way or another; thank you.

and on this day i remember a very special teacher, Mrs Anne Lim from Saint Anthony's Primary School(Singapore), whom i have not seen in years and have foolishly forgotten. i hope to see her again soon.

FMS.

as my bunk mate once said, "this is bullshit!" and rightly so.

right shoulder seems a little injured so i don't think i will be going down for past vs present after all.

past vs present.

to go or not to go;

that is the question.

today is Saturday.

i awake, with great precision, to a cold morning at 10am, otherwise known as 1000 in the army(i must say that this is a luxury that i have not enjoyed in a long time). i get out of bed and begin boiling my water. the wait keeps me thinking about how nice it would be to have a cup of Milo; 3 teaspoons of Milo, a bit of sugar, some hot water and a good dose of fresh milk. ah, the simple joys of life. the water stops boiling and i proceed with preparing my choice beverage and after its completion, i take a sip; it is divine.

breakfast is simple. some cookies and the aforementioned cup of Milo. after a good 10 minutes, it is finished. while i place my cup into the sink, i make a mental checklist of the things i have to do for the day and realise that much of today's going to be spent cleaning up. there is nothing new about my realisation. ever since i enlisted, Saturdays have always been cleaning days; cleaning my field pack, washing my uniforms and PT kits, polishing my boots. it is a routine that i have come to terms with, but at times, it still bothers me because Saturday forms the bulk of my free time when i book out and here i am, washing and cleaning.

on the list(in no order or whatsoever);

1. remove clothes that were hung yesterday

2. wash uniforms

3. read my new fortune and time magazines

4. look for awesome music to listen to

5. blog

6. clean up room and pack wardrobe

7. wash the dishes

9. training run + sets.

10. watch some TV shows

i'm at number 5 now and i'm already halfway through 6.

ah, happy days.

complacent.

whatever happened to "faster, stronger, better"?

where is that hunger? where is the fear?

all that remains is complacency;

a dangerous feeling, this one.

being Christian.

not everyday is Sunday.

on some days, you wake up with a purpose; you know what you want to do and how to go about doing it. with great enthusiasm and determination, you finish the tasks and challenges that you have set for yourself the night before. but on other days, you wake up feeling weak; physically and mentally unprepared for what lies ahead. a sense of dread looms over your head and dogs your every breath. your thoughts focus only on one thing; stopping.

but stopping is not an option; everyone knows that, but how many people will actually press on and finish off strong? that, my friend, is the true test.

this is the last week(for now at least)

this is it mann.

game on.

maybe we do forget.

what is it like to be pure and innocent of heart?

like that of a child.

what is it like to be persistent and resilient?

just like a child.

what is it like to desire simple joys in life and be satisfied by them?

like how a child would.

what is it like to both give and receive love graciously?

just as a child does.

what is it like to treasure everything you have?

like how a child will.

what is it like to forgive and forget?

just as how children do.

what is it like to be curious and unafraid of the consequences?

like how children are.

what is it like to have something to look forward to everyday?

just as how children do.

what is it like to talk to God with nothing holding you back?

like how children pray.

what is it like to run around freely without a care in the world?

just as how children run.

what is it like to live each day without fears and regrets?

like how children do.

and the questions go on. to be honest, i have forgotten how it feels like to do so many of these things the way children do. what about you? have you forgotten as well?

helpless.

i often ask myself this; how can i help others if i cannot help myself?

is it inevitable that we all, at some point of time in our lives, will lapse into sin?
like a shapeless void, it will consume your soul.
i pray for strength again, and if need be, courage too.
and i pray that this time, i will not falter.

amen.

question.

do you believe in heaven?
i know i do.

rest in peace, good sir.