on the long road to recovery.

it needs to hurry, really.
i want my strength back.
real bad.

new hero(ine).

the yog's been a crazy eye-opener for me so far. singapore's youth soccer team is doing awesome. medals for swimming and taekwondo. but nothing inspires me more than clara wong, singapore's triathalon representative.

she didn't give up and pull out of the race after a nasty collision(it wasn't even her fault in the first place) that made her plummet from 11th to 30th position(which was last, cos korea and kazakhstan's reps were too badly injured to carry on and pulled out). she was kinda injured too, but she finished off pretty strong; pushing all the way. she's crazy, but in an awesome way.

i don't quite know how to put this, but i really want to shake her hand(it would be a great honour)! it's like how i shook anne's(some speaker who spoke at smota's confi camp this year) hand; it's that strong feeling you get and it's like a now or never thing; it's screaming out to you, literally.

awesome stuff mann, really awesome.

monster.

i don't quite understand why some people have to make life so difficult for others.
is it the thrill they get; being so close to danger, flirting with death constantly?
or is it that they are not normal anymore; constantly treading on the thin line separating sanity from insanity?
or that they are not capable of logic; beings so intent on forcing their twisted thoughts and wills on others?

there is one only way to stop them, these monsters.
total destruction; that is the only way one can end this madness.

and that is how i plan to end it.

it will be done.

i'm sure of it.

i don't know how i am going to do it.
i know not the hour of its coming.
but there is one thing i am sure of;
we are all capable of greatness.

i will get there, somehow.
because this time, destiny is a friend.
i can feel it.

in thee i trust.

hope it goes away.

pain lets me know i am alive; but this time round, it might be more than i can handle.

but the show must go on.

i'm praying that i recover soon, cos i'm starting to miss jogging, running and gym-ing already. on a random note, my back still feels kinda funny though.

maybe it's time i think about what i really want in life; slowly and carefully.

today is Day 2.

i received a really touching sms from an old friend today;

one fine day, all of us will get busy with our lives;
long working hours, less friends, less meetings, no smses, no more late night chatting, we won't even have time for ourselves.

on such a day, you'll look outside your window and see the good old memories flash you by and you'll smile, with a tear in your eyes. and you'll turn back to your work, thinking, "i wish i could go back..."

send this message to all those who have helped create such memories.

ah, it's nice to be remembered. especially now, when it matters most.

to redeem one's honour.

getting injured is a humbling experience; it reminds me that no matter how strong you are, you are bound to break down one day, simply because no man is machine. one moment i was squatting 280 pounds, or 127 kg, and in the next, i was sitting(or perhaps, lying) my sorry ass on the gym floor, trying to put the pieces back together; trying to make sense of what was going on. being injured reminds me that i cannot fight this battle alone; i need the people around me. it makes me appreciate what i have; right here and right now.

the pain was(and still is) unbearable; i was(still am) cursing at every breath, promising the good Lord that i would give something up to make it all go away. ah, something to pray for and about for the next few days i guess.

if you're going through hell, keep going.

issues.

i don't quite know what's happening to me these days; i can't seem to relate to people anymore. i am unable to strike up a conversation with people i want to get to know. in the past, this wouldn't be much of a problem. but for some reason, it is now. my mind seems preoccupied; like there is something calling out to me. something that i haven't quite figured out.

the stillness before battle is unbearable, such a quiet dread.

leaves from the vine(extended).

leaves from the vine,
falling so slow,
like fragile tiny shells,
drifting in the foam.
little soldier boy,
come marching home.
brave soldier boy,
comes marching home.

those leaves did fall,
from branches overgrown.
drifting slowly down,
resting on the loam.
little soldier boy,
taken from home,
forced to fight a war;
that's not his own.

leaves from the vine,
falling so slow,
like fragile tiny shells,
drifting in the foam.
little soldier boy says, "carry me home."
sleeping soldier boy,
is carried home.

-i don't know who wrote the extended version, but for me, the original was more than enough to make me tear. because of this song, i have made episode 35, "tales from ba sing se", my favourite episode of the whole avatar series.