soldier's fortune.

A soldier's fortune I tell you plain - is a wooden leg or a golden chain.

just maybe.

i'm wondering if it's ever possible to live each day without regret.

really.

i'm willing to give it a shot, to live each remaining day to its fullest.

not a second lost,
no decisions laid off.

it begins now, even before the 100th.

i regret.

it's no point wishing that it'd all go away.
there's no turning back now.
this is it.
no more, no less.

fading memory, fleeting dream.
oh, won't you wait for me?

quiet thoughts.

wouldn't miss it for the world.

and they say.

men need to get over the concept that to complain is unmanly. it is only the the method of one's complaint which dictates manhood. tears and blathering noise is unbecoming, but having a voice that makes lucid statements and points the finger of reason has never been seen as a loss of manhood. rather, it is what has made nations from dust.

penny for your thoughts.

i'd hate to say i told you so.

lessons learnt in time.

no story is not worth listening to, simply because all stories are true.

right now.

it's 1.22am.(blogger keeps screwing up the time)
i'm listening to Hayley Westenra's rendition of Scarborough Fair.
i'm checking out that one blog again.
and the other with the same author's compilation of more complicated thoughts.
as i do all the above mentioned, i wonder what everyone else is doing?

right now.

is someone praying for deliverance, for the cup to pass him?
is someone out there fighting for his life?
is someone going to sleep to prepare for the long day ahead?
is someone fighting against what we call destiny and fate with his hands?
is someone doing what i'm doing?
is someone thinking what i'm thinking?

i wonder. i really do.

it's not over.

the race does not always belong to the swift,
nor the battle to the the strong,
nor bread to the wise,
nor riches to men of understanding,
nor favour to men of skill,
but time and chance happen to them all.

i miss the old times.

i decided to see what the plate champions 09' facebook group was all about so i finally decided to check it out. well, it was funny i guess? all the discussion posts made me realise that life, perhaps, wasn't so bad(even though i wasn't one of the best).

we had(and still have) one of the best coaches in the country.

we had players that could execute awesome plays.

we had players that were willing to work hard and go the extra mile to deliver the goods.

we had jackasses that were a real pain in the ass(pardon the awful pun).

we were all pretty different(or that's what i think cos i didn't really blend really well. but it could be a different story, i wouldn't know.) but yet, we still won the plate champions trophy that our seniors had been eyeing since 2007.

okay. so we had some misses.

the touch ruggers still don't like us.

schoolmates still think we're cocky.

others think we're annoying.

and blahy blah.

and not to mention i had misses of my own as well.

but i guess it wasn't so bad.

it's good.

i think boys like girls is an awesome band.
okay. maybe not AWESOME. but nevertheless, still great.
like the vocals a lot(really stuff here) and the drumming is pretty nice(i'm a music noob, so everything kinda sounds good to me).

and the new version of Windows Media Player is cranky mann.
i'm going back to my good ol' itunes.

equality is a myth.

you read it right.

equality is a myth. and why so?
i feel that this is simply because things often come in an order. and when there's a certain form of order in place, there is a form of precedence and hence, there is no equality.

Eg 1; "ladies and gentlemen,"

the very fact that the word "ladies" is in front might mean that ladies are superior to the subject that is mentioned later, "gentlemen". but it doesn't seem quite right to swap it around either. so how do we address everyone without, perhaps(in a rare instance), offend anyone? frankly, idon't know.

Eg 2; the list.

let's say you have plans for a birthday party and you need to write a list of guests you wanted to invite for the party. and it goes something like this;

Bob

Alicia

Cheryl

George

Francis

Eugene

Delilah

and now, back to equality. so is Delilah less important than Alicia, simply because you placed her last on the list? and is Bob the most important person on the list? and maybe if you shuffled the list and place the names in alphabetical order, it would be fairer and perhaps, more equal.

nah. it's the same. now George is gonna feel all left out cos he's last on the list(that's if he even gives two shits about you in the first place). and Alicia becomes Ms. Important.

so you say equality?
i say, er, impossible?

we're all to blame?

we created drink,
that made us drink ourselves to eternal rest.

we created currency,
that drowned us in whirlpools of debt.

we created gambling,
that led us to sell our souls when we were out of luck.

we created guns,
that we used to hunt each other down.

we created knives,
that were wielded mercilessly to end human life.

we created cigarettes,
that choked us with its thick smoke.

we created bombs,
that blew everyone up.

we created drugs,
that made us give in when life was hard.

God did not create these things; we did.
and hence, i conclude that God did not create death but we did.
it is not a logical conclusion based on facts and findings, but rather, merely an expression of personal opinion about what i think really kills us.

think, thinking, thought.

as i slurp away at my just-out-of-the-pot Korean kimchi noodles(loaded with a whole packet of enoki mushrooms and sealed with the nutritional goodness of an egg), i cannot help but think about the events that one could sum up as collective noun known as today.

i do not, and will not, enjoy thinking about today.
as i'm saying this, i'll like to be very clear about the times when i do not enjoy a day.

the criterion is simple; i did not make the best out of it.

and after thinking about today, i go on thinking about the many other "todays" before today. it's a strange feeling; to have known you could have done something better at a particular moment, only after it has happened. it gives you the reassurance that should the same scenario play out again, you will know what to do this time round. but as fate would have it, the same scenarios never play out again, and life often deals you a tough hand.

and what do you do? what do I do?

nothing. i continue my existence as if nothing ever happened. yes, i know. you must be saying, "he really is an IDIOT." perhaps you could say you got yourself full marks for that.

i consider myself fortunate. to be able to slurp on Kimchi noodles while others have nothing to eat is a blessing.

i have a roof over my head. i am indeed lucky.
i have everything i need. i am very, very lucky.

am i grateful?
yes. but what do i do about it?

nothing.

now that i've thought about it, i realise that i really am an idiot.
maybe it's time to less of an idiot and perhaps, start working towards the future to fulfil the dreams in my head and the hopes that others have for me.

on a random note, my noodles are cold and my soup is non-existent.
but i am still very lucky.