the key to happiness is...to be yourself.

i would like to think that this little piece of advice, however simple, is actually rather confusing. and much to my dismay, many books and self-help gurus often use this line and it does little good, or in some cases, no good at all.

how does one be oneself? it is possible to be yourself?

i think not.

values make a person. so do traits and morals. and perhaps behaviour too, for that matter. however, i like to think that these attributes that we possess are learnt; obtained. hypothetically, a child cannot learn kindness unless he sees kindness. likewise, a child cannot learn discipline unless he is taught discipline. and most of these traits, like kindness and discipline, are traits that are taught to us by others, therefore suggesting that they(referring to the people who educate us) possess such traits as well. hence, it can be concluded, to a certain extent, that it is unnatural to be oneself, primarily because being oneself entails having or displaying traits that are displayed by others and doing so would inevitably result in ourselves becoming more like others. it does not matter even if man's innate nature is to be selfish or greedy, good or kind, simply because being oneself would mean that man will act out his innate nature. thus, in that way, we end up being everyone else but ourselves.

it is quite a riddle, isn't it? well, it gets worse.

some people say that you will feel comfortable and happy as long as your are yourself. but what then is comfort? and what about happiness? i would like to believe that one's level of comfort and happiness would depend on what society thinks of them and their behaviour. it is impossible to feel comfortable and happy if society marginalises you because of your ideas, beliefs and behaviour. and so to be happy and comfortable, we adapt to the requirements of society by changing our behaviour, ideas and beliefs. it is common, believe me. take the children that are often chided for being too talkative in class as an example. their nature is to talk; it is their way of expressing their thoughts and feelings. but we, as society in general, suppress that nature by telling them that talking excessively is a bad thing and often go to great lengths to enforce measures to ensure their silence. surely, i need not elaborate on these measures as i do believe that you would remember these measures if you were one of those kids.

be yourself, they say.
for success,
for a date,
for an interview.

bunk, i say to you.
all bunk.

and by the way, merry christmas.