i wish You could tell me.

most of the time, i can control my Self. during these times, my I and my Self are on good terms with each other. other times, there is conflict between the two and i lose control of both my Self and I.

when this happens, i feel a very powerful anger. i do not know why i feel this anger. my heart says to me, "i am angry for or at something, someone. but i do not for or at what, or whom." my head tells me that it is not logical, "there must be a reason to my anger" but i search my Self and i cannot figure out why. i search my I, and he knows no better. my Self and I get frustrated and angrier than before because i cannot find the source of my anger. sometimes, i manage to detach myself from the anger, saying, "this is my anger, i know it through and through. i can walk away from it." other times, i give in and say, "this is how i feel, let others around me feel it too!" and i forget myself and indulge in my anger.

i'm praying for it to go away;
this monster that i cannot control anymore.