game on, number 17.

PJC vs CJC @ CCAB tomorrow at 1645.

losing it.

i just wanna scream.
let it all out.
it's driving me insane,
all this anger and pain.

that aside, i'm quite excited about the next few days.
thursday; cjc match, 1645 at CCAB.
maundy thursday with legionaries.
friday; good friday.
saturday; touch rugby(maybe?)
sunday; EASTER!

please come home.

"dustin kensrue - please come home."

awesome stuff.

is this "so long, goodbye."?

when will i see you again, my friend?
when i am in doubt and in trouble, i think of your note.
it makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me want to write one back.
but when will i see you again, my friend?

everyone needs heroes to look up to.

mann, this guy is damn strong.
and i wanna be just like him!

on nights like these you wonder.

sometimes(apparently tonight is one of these times), i wonder about how easy it is to ask for God to help fix us up or maybe help us out with something and at the same time, how easy it is to betray His trust once he's helped us.

the worst part of it all is that you betray His trust knowingly;in full knowledge of what you are doing.


"where do i go from here?", i often ask myself.
and nothing much ever really happens and the world just moves on without me.

respect.

We, with these lessons in our heads and hearts, went on to become the Plate Champions and the rest, like it is so often said, is history. And with history, there are lessons to be learnt and names to remember, and in this case, the name to remember would be Mr Michael Kwok; Teacher, coach and educator.

forgetting.

why do i keep forgetting?

right here, right now.

standing at the cross, i lay down these;
sin, pride, shame, guilt, fear, regret, lust and anger.
in return, i ask that You grant me courage;
courage to love with everyone with all my heart and not fear rejection.
courage to do what is right and necessary.
courage to step onto the field again once more.
courage, so that i may fight the good fight.

later.

let it be good.

nice.

puji just uploaded the pictures from confi camp. nice, very nice.

beg the question, rule the answer.

over the last weekend(at confi camp), i made a discovery of sorts.
instead of using or drawing smileys that usually look like this, " :) " or " :] ", i often use " =) " or " =] ". well, some might say that there is no difference between the two.

but i, on the other hand, would like to think that i use this, " =) " , because i have subconscious inadequacies about the size of my eyes. yes, mine is a case of the infamous "Chinese eyes".

10 things you should do in order to be happy.

one) know how to give and receive good hugs.

two) invest in a good pair of slippers because everybody deserves happy feet.

three) don't overeat; and reserve buffets for special occasions only.

four) write your thoughts out when you get them, lest you forget.

five) run more, it gives you time to sort out your thoughts and make peace with yourself and God.

six) get sufficient rest.

seven) take the first step if you want magic to happen.

eight) be honest.

nine ) be aware of three weaknesses you will succumb to, be it "wine, women and song", or another set of three or just any three. stay away from these things and you should be fine.

ten) learn to love yourself, so that in doing so, you will learn how to love others.

what would you have me say?

now that i'm free from work, i am able to do things that i need to do and things i want to do. books to read, universities to apply for, newspapers to catch up on, movies to watch, friends to catch up with and of course, a training schedule to follow.

i really hope that this weekend will be fun cos there's the usual GOTA on saturday and cos there's also some dinner for the confi camp facils on sunday.

race leader,
will you lead me home?

Emil Chau's "Friends".

totally reminds me of what we could have been.
oh well, i can still make do with what i have now anyway.
better late than never.

Jerry "Rev" Harris.

everytime i falter, i think of the character, "rev", from "remember the titans". he is my role model in more ways than one; religious, humble, daring and reliable.
don't ask me why, but these are the things i have yet to be.
these are the things i want to be.
these are the things i will be.

there are three things that will dishonour a man's name;
pride, jealously and lust.
if man cannot control any of these in his life,
he is as good as a soul lost to the abyss.

you have no honour.

you have no place with me, being without honour
you do not understand loyalty and you know not of brotherhood.
a man who leaves his brothers for reasons he does not share,
is not a man at all.

you take refuge from this madness,
away from it all.
no, it matters not.
this madness, it will end now.

if a man wants to get his fair share of money from his master,
then the man should count his money before collecting it.
it is most dishonourable for a man to ask his friends to count his money;
because at the end of the day, it is him, and not his friends, that get the money.

Ahava.

this weekend was an awesome success.
yes, awesome.
awesome because i haven't been able to facilitate at camps well since my SJI days, until now.
awesome because this confi camp was so much better than mine some 3 years ago.
awesome because i found some answers.
awesome because i have found my purpose.
awesome because i meet so many new people and reconnected with a lot of old friends.

there are so many reasons as to why the camp was awesome and the aforementioned are just some of them.

Amanda
Camelia
Jennifer
Louis
Natalie
Sandra
Teresa

i will remember all of you. i wish you all the best for everything you do and i will pray for all of you.
i hope that in return, you will remember me as i remember you.

tired.

work's been getting really busy these days and even though i'm not the kind to complain, i'm starting to think that work is killing me.

and i just realised that my confi camp group name is ahava, which means love in hebrew, i think.
awesome stuff if you ask me. anyway, that aside, i'm quite excited about the upcoming confi camp actually, even more so since i am a facil, rather than a participant. but i'd like to think that it doesn't matter who's who because facils or not, there's still so much to learn and experience so while we're at it, we should enjoy the process.

day zero, here we come!

my existence.

my voice is my existence.
if my voice ceases, then so shall my existence.
it is what makes me; what defines my being.
i will not change.

i'd like to think that He saved me; from this Paperchase.

today was an interesting day.
it was not bad, but neither was it good. i expected more, but i was not shortchanged.

i was happy, but at the same time, i was sad.

i had joy in my heart, both for myself and for others. i had sorrow in my heart as well, both for myself and the others who did not make it, or those who did not meet the expectations they had set for themselves.

words i had plenty in my heart, but few were said. i wished i could have said more. more about the glorious wonders that He has done for me. more about the great deeds that men have achieved. more words of comfort and hope i could have provided. little, did i say.

i pray that we will go on to the next stage of our lives with His protection and guidance. all the best everyone, may you, with your own two hands, claim the destiny that is rightfully yours.

quiet prayer.

Dear Lord,
i give everything up to you.
do what You deem is best for me.
Amen.