now i have more time?

some things happen for a reason i guess. divine intervention maybe? i don't know. but this time round, i don't really have much to complain about. that's a good thing, i guess?

extra time is always a good thing to have.

being sick and lying in bed made me think about the things i have and had, the people i know and knew, the awesome things i always said i wanted to do but never got down to doing, the bad things i did, the little good i did and etc. in essence, it was just my life and all.

believe me, there is little joy to be found in such memories. not to say that my life was bad, because it might have been worse, but because i have too many regrets. now, a lot of extra time and a bagful of regrets clearly do not go hand in hand with other. it makes you want to turn back the clock, even though you cannot, making the experience even more painful than it already is. i dislike this feeling of helplessness. but fighting it is futile. there is no going back. everyone knows that.

"i could have done more, so much more."

Lord, i pray you keep these words from leaving my lips again.