reality.

my left arm.
it feels weak; the muscles, shrinking from inactivity.
so weak that it feels like its hanging from a thread. so darn weak.
the accident, i'd presume.

my back.
it feels like its breaking, in half.
hurts.
like hell. don't know how or why.
but the pain makes me want to scream.

my knee.
creaks.
like some rusty gate.
sounds bad.
real bad.

my head.
spinning like a top.
late nights; my number one guess.
oh well, just another Test.

my heart.
so tangled up inside.
all the wrong that i could have done right, weighing down on me.
the weight.

i feel so damaged.
so ruined.
and so i remind myself that with what's left of me,
i'll try to do what i can to carve out my own destiny.

but then i think back of what should have been and i say;
Lord, if anything screws up again out there, let it not be me.

i'm so sick.
so sick of it all.
overdrive.
overtime.
damage control.

can't miss now.
can't f*** up now.
i won't.
'cause i just can't.

and i'll pray;
angels east and angels west, keep her safe even while she rests.

Amen.