this one doesn't need a title.

Disclaimer; this post was published by a boy who is stuck in this gigantic pool of thoughts(ironically, he created the mess himself), so just bear with the boy. or you could always use the trusty alt-F4 command and whoosh yourself someplace else.

i don't really know what's happening to me.

everything seems so distant.

i feel so indifferent to the things around me and all.

it's like; "i don't really give a damn about all this bullshit."

so now everything is bollocks to me.

i don't really give two shits about anything.

i feel too lazy to even want to care about anything related to my life.

it's dangerous.

this is what screwed up ogl camp for me.

i had this same shitty feeling back then.

so picture me, sitting around in a circle, with my get-me-outta-here face, playing ice-breakers.

i was selfish, in some way.

i only thought of myself.

making myself happy.

and doing whatever suited my fancy.

and chucking whatever that i deemed was boring.

i suppose it wasn't nice for everyone.

and i guess i'm sorry?

but it's not like anyone reads all this crap anyway.

but then again, here's sorry, for all that it's worth.

I asked God to take away my habit.

God said, No.

It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.

God said, No.

His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.

God said, No.

Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.

God said, No.

I give you blessings; happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.

God said, No.

Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.

God said, No.

You must grow on your own! But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.

God said, No.

I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me love others, as much as He loves me.

God said, Finally you have the idea.